This ancient website is in stasis and is being replaced! Please go check out the new hotness at new.mahnamahna.net.
That new site will move here once this old site's content has been completely migrated to the new system. St. Tim taught us in 1998 that Cool URIs Don't Change, and he is still right.
Thousands of things go right for you every day, beginning the moment you wake up. Through some magic you don’t fully understand, you’re still breathing and your heart is beating, even though you’ve been unconscious for many hours. The air is a mix of gases that’s just right for your body’s needs, as it was before you fell asleep.I ordered myself a copy and it has just arrived. It’s a far stranger book than I imagined, and far more wonderful. There’s an alternate subtitle on the back: 888 Tricks for Becoming a Wildly Disciplined, Fiercely Tender, Ironically Sincere, Scrupulously Curious, Aggressively Sensitive, Blasphemously Reverent, Lyrically Logical, Lustfully Compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss. Whew! Some chapter titles: “Everyone who believes in the devil is the devil,” “Visualize (put your deity’s name here) at the moment of orgasm,” “You are a fucking lucky plucky good-sucking genius,” and “When did you first realize you are the rain’s teacher?”
You can see! Light of many colors floods into your eyes, registered by nerves that took God or evolution or some process millions of years to perfect. The interesting gift of these vivid hues comes to you courtesy of an unimaginably immense globe of fire, the sun, which continually detonates nuclear reactions in order to convert its body into light and heat and energy for your personal use… .
On this day, like almost every other, you have awoken inside a temperature-controlled shelter. You have a home! Your bed and pillow are soft and you’re covered by comfortable blankets. The electricity is turned on, as usual. Somehow, in ways you’re barely aware of, a massive power plant at an unknown distance from your home is transforming fuel into currents of electricity that reach you through mostly hidden conduits in the exact amounts you need, and all you have to do to control the flow is flick small switches with your fingers.
© 2016 Matthew Newton, published under a Creative Commons License.