One of my guilty pleasures is Jon Carroll’s column in the Chronicle — which of course I never read in the Chronicle, but instead on SFGate. Today’s column
is fantastic for at least three reasons:
- He refers to “fine East Bay people,” which many City dwellers think is a mythical species. No, friends: We exist.
- He speaks of folks who send him angry e-mails about his columns. My own column (very different from Carroll’s, and orders of magnitude less exciting) only posts once a month, but still generates messages from malcontents who write like this: “CLEARLY you are one of those PATHETIC tech journalists who has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what he’s talking about.” As Carroll notes: “Clearly they are not trying to persuade. I know what persuasion looks like … and it rarely involves words like ‘pathetic.’”
- When he gets to the meat of the column, so to speak, he never actually names the thing that he’s talking about. It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode “The Contest,” which was all about masturbation but never used that word or anything close to it. Here’s Carroll:
Here is the problem: A naked female actor can mime erotic involvement with another person and be completely convincing. A naked male actor cannot, because the deal-breaker, as it were, is right out there in the open. Are you unhappy to see me, or is that nothing at all in your pocket?
Today’s lovely dose of Carroll reminds me that we are coming up on the five-year anniversary of the greatest Jon Carroll column ever. Stay tuned for coverage.
[Ya like that statue? $79 gets you one of your own.]