The Associated Press sez here that Koko, the famous gorilla who “speaks” in sign language, recently told her handlers that she had a toothache, and even went so far as to rate the pain on a scale of one to ten. The part they’re not reporting: After having her tooth fixed, Koko ordered Lobster Thermidor and a baked potato for dinner, along with a bottle of claret, which she tasted before spitting a mouthful on the carpet, signing, “This tastes like my armpit.”

(Can’t help but notice that when you need someone to help give an ape a check-up, you call a prof from the med school at Stanfurd. Sounds right.)