An 18-year-old high school junior has been in jail since Tuesday for having written a story about zombies taking over a high school.

"Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Take note, now: "Anytime you ... possess matter involving a school or function" Kentucky says that's a felony. I'm not sure I even know what that means. If I possess a pencil stamped George Rogers Clark High School, am I headed to the big house? I don't know. It's not like I needed another reason to stay the fuck out of Kentucky, but crikey. Paralyzed by the fear of school shootings and the fear of terrorism, it seems a large number of Americans have simply lost their minds. And apparently they can arrest and lock up those of us who haven't.