I have two long, narrow rugs adorning the hardwood floor in my hall at Chez Newton (The Global House of Chillage). Until recently, said rugs were held in place by these nifty sorta-sticky things that IKEA makes that go under rugs. The IKEA name for this sorta-sticky thing is Patrull, a strange name to be sure, even for IKEA. And I'm pretty certain that the plural of Patrull is Patrull. But I digress.

The problem with Patrull is that over time, they lose their grip and you need new ones. Not wanting to deal with the traffic and parking nightmare that is modern-day Emeryville, I decided to stay away from IKEA's brick-and-mortar store and instead head to IKEA.com to order myself a new pack o' Patrull.

I successfully located the Patrull I wanted and placed an order. IKEA.com soon sent me an e-mail that read, in part:

Your order information appears below. Due to a high volume of orders, we will contact you to confirm your order with the details about your delivery and total cost within 5 - 7 business days. . . . IMPORTANT: Your credit card will not be charged before you receive complete information including the shipping & handling fees, applicable taxes and you have confirmed those charges. . . . Our online advisors will email you to confirm your order, actual shipping and handling and tax totals, and full payment process.

Well, this sounds a bit slow and laborious and silly for an e-commerce site, but okay, I've still saved myself a trip to Emeryville, right? I figured it'd take an extra week, but at some point, I'd still have Patrull headed my way.

But no. The next day, IKEA.com thought better of what it had done, and e-mailed me again:

Hello Matthew,

Thank you for your recent e-Shop order.

Unfortunately, the product(s) that is/are listed below, is/are not available through IKEA Home Shopping:

patrull rug underlay

Because the item(s) is/are not featured in the 2005 IKEA general catalog, it is/they are considered a "store-only" item. You can purchase the unavailable product(s) by visiting one of our IKEA store locations.

What we have learned here: Not all the items in the IKEA online store are actually available for sale through the online store. You can click to order anything you encounter, you can give them your credit card number and complete what seems like a very real checkout process, but then the system can e-mail you to let you know that it was all a dream. If there are worse online shopping experiences out there to be had, I ain't finding 'em. Two thumbs way down, IKEA.

(Anyone out there know a trick for keeping rugs from sliding all over the floor?)